Note for documentation. Lola was on the floor in the bathroom when I got up this morning. I didn't hear her fall, but as I was getting out of bed/the sofa, I heard a noise in the bathroom. I went to the closed door and asked if she was okay, and she said she couldn't get up. She was on the floor between the toilet and the sink. She wasn't hurting, just struggling to get up. She hadn't had the strength to get herself up. Between us, we managed to get her up.
She couldn't remember what had happened. She had all her clothes on in the right positions, so I can safely assume she hadn't just toppled off the toilet as she was sitting there.
Tonight I asked her if she had any sore spots or anything, and she said she didn't. I asked her if she'd just fallen asleep sitting on the toilet. I couldn't see how that happened, but it didn't seem like she'd taken a whalloping fall. She went into a dialog that she'd broken her arm, and it was held up, her movements indicating as in traction. Frankly, I sat there in disbelief listening to her ramble about this.
Ultimately, I don't know what happened. Fortunately, we have no broken arms or hips and no bad bruises of which I'm aware.
For ages I've been trying to get her to use the portable potty I placed next to her bed. She won't use it because she says she doesn't want me to have to clean it. It's not like I can make her use it. However, tonight I placed chairs in front of the small bathroom to keep her out of it. I told her to use either the laundry-room toilet, where there's a carpet and plenty of room around the toilet or to use the porta potty in her bedroom.
Trying to make a dent in her damaged brain, I told her if she continued to use the small bathroom and fall in it, she would have to go to a nursing home. Ultimate threat, but hopefully potent enough to impress her. Tomorrow I will go to the store and get a hook and eye and close the small bathroom. It's got too much hard porcelain on which to crack a bone and too little space to pick her up.
All of that discussion was enough to send her off to bed without saying goodnight, kiss my ass or anything to me. At the beginning of this, I used to say I was coming up here to Lala Land. That was nothing compared to the Lala Land it's become.